On Sunday the Grenfell Stingers hit the road to Parkes to kick off their season against the Parkes Saints, under the fresh leadership of Super Coach Mark – who, rumour has it, has already banned oranges at half time and replaced them with tactical lectures and interpretive dance moves (unconfirmed).

Parkes came out firing early and slotted the first goal, which meant our defensive trio of Peter, Tom and Mark Griffen were immediately thrown into action like a group of bouncers at a nightclub that forgot to lock the doors.

To their credit, they held the line brilliantly and stopped what could’ve turned into a goal-scoring buffet.

Enter Shannon, who clearly didn’t get the memo about easing into the season.

He unleashed an absolute rocket from long range – the kind of shot that makes you question whether the ball had somewhere else to be – and levelled things up for Grenfell.

Not long after, Cassie decided she’d also like a highlight reel moment, cracking a shot that was deflected (probably because the keeper feared for their safety), and new recruit Pradip was right there to clean up the scraps and slot it home.

Scoring a goal in his first game for Stingers.

Then came one of the great passages of play: in a play straight from their 7-a-side team handbook - keeper Michael launched a long ball up-field that found Alex, who proceeded to zig, zag, and possibly teleport his way through the defence before scoring.

Honestly, there are still defenders out there looking for him.

Shannon wasn’t done yet (not even close). He popped up again to bag his second - sending Grenfell into halftime with a commanding 4-1 lead.

The second half kicked off with a strong wind – the kind that usually sends chips flying and hairstyles into chaos – but Shannon used it to his advantage.

From an indirect free kick, he bent the ball around the wall and over the keeper like a budget version of David Beckham… except honestly, probably better.

Scientists are still studying the physics of that one.

Parkes managed to sneak another one in but by this point Shannon had well and truly entered ‘main character mode’, scoring his fourth for the day and sealing a 6-2 victory for the Stingers.

A huge shout-out to first time Stingers Blair, Cassie, Georgia and Pradip, who all played like seasoned pros (or at least like they’d had their weetbix that morning).

Players Player went to Shannon – shockingly – after a casual four goal performance.

The Stingers now head into a well-earned bye next week before they are back on home turf at Lawson Oval on 17 May against ROS Global Raptors.

Final Score Grenfell Stingers 6, Parkes Saints 2. The Season is well and truly ON.